Intrepid Medicine and Wrong Science
Long time readers will know that I've used that punchline before, but damn it, it's the funniest thing I have ever written or will ever write. Sad, really.
Friday, September 29, 2006
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11 comments:
Billy's costume hadn't been too popular at the fancy dress party, but the end to the game of "Musical Chairs" was most unexpected.
Next time, he mused, watching the donkey and the pirate approach with his "prize", I won't come as an upper class twat.
Oh, bummocks
That was the final straw for Ezra Stewart's parents.
Mrs. Stewart: " That is it! You better well learn to use the special potty or you can rot. I'm not going to spend another 13 years changing after you young man. Tell him Daniel!"
Mr. Stewart: "Your poor mother is right son. She has enough on her hands. It's part of being a big boy. Don't you want to be a big boy?"
Ezra: "NOOOO!!! I don't wanna be a big boy! No more Mommies milk and Binky and now this! WAAAAAAHHHH!!!"
All the Stewarts were slow developers but Ezra took the Cake.
"Is it safe, is it safe? Fuck you, Szell. I don't have a clue. And you don't scare me a bit. I still have all my baby teeth."
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!! This isn't how the time machine is supposed to work!"
Professor Brainstorm had really cocked up big-style.
Welcome, everyone, to the test screening of Biodome 2.
OK, I was willing to overlook people mistakenly thinking that "bummocks" is somehow a funny word, but Biodome is a modern day classic and I'll thank you all to shut your filthy mouths.
Punk kids...
Poor Tommy realised, with growing horror, that the "off" switch for the prototype "Surprise" Auto-enema chair was beyond his reach.
Timmy suddenly remembered That scene from Casino Royale and realised that, perhaps, insisting on being James Bond every playtime wasn't such a good idea.
It is a scientific fact that the word "classic" cannot be attributed by any film featuring Pauly Shore... Biodome especially.
That said, I'm a fan of the mini-tribal.
In times of humpback shortage, it was not uncommon for the French to take measures to induce the correct posture in otherwise perfectly human schoolboys. Someone's got to man the clock towers after all, otherwise Scissorman is liable to get lonely.
That said, this is actually a photo of the Marquis De Sades first step towards self-discovery.
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