Monday, July 31, 2006

Reality TV is Just Plain Wrong

'So, we stay tied up, and the first person who needs to go to the toilet loses.' 'Ha ha, what a lark! I had a large glass of water just before coming here, though -- I fear I shall be the first to be untied.' 'Oh, they don’t untie you.' 'Ah. This show is going to be huge in Japan!'

13 comments:

hillhunt said...

"Did you ever see Jurassic Park, Melissa?"

"No. Why?"

"No reason. Now this game is called 'The Tethered Goat'....."

Anonymous said...

"Jillie. You're straighter than me. Look over my left shoulder. Aren't those Gary Busse teeth and a ladder floating in the air? What did your stepdad give us?"

Anonymous said...

Despite all their preparations, Cindy and Jan could not help but open their eyes as the Nazis opened the ark of the covenant.

Anonymous said...

The stars remained in their trailers while the crew finalised the lighting and sound setup, but the extras, already in place on set, chatted amongst themselves.

"Gosh, isn't it exciting? Everybody's so busy! I never knew there were so many people involved when they make a movie. And they're much more friendly than I expected."

"Yes, wasn't that Candy lady nice? What's her job again? Makeup, isn't it?"

"No, I think it's hairstyling ... yes, that's right, she definitely said she was a 'fluffer'."

Anonymous said...

"The man who gave us the ice cream said we're going to get grapes! And then he'll sell us to chimps!"

"Um, Cindy, are you having ear-wax buildup problems again?"

"Sorry, what?"

"Never mind."

Anonymous said...

Born blind and without arms and legs, wendy thought things couldn't get any worse. That was until she was kidnapped by smugglers while on a school skiing holiday with janet - the most boring girl in her class. The only thing that kept her spirits up and smiling throughout the ordeal was to 'accidently' shit herself at the conclusion of every pointless cat story. By the rising tone of janet's voice she could tell this one was almost over...

Anonymous said...

"Are you sure you can't hear something buzzing?"

Anonymous said...

"God, I love this" "Me too"

Anonymous said...

"So I found this tape and this hack saw"

"Really? Cause I found this tape player and these keys........"

Anonymous said...

"Now remember Megan in Bukkake a big smile is always important."

"Really... and here I thought it was just about Cum."

Anonymous said...

I get it, I am not a wanker!

aj

Anonymous said...

"Look I've got my legs free why don't I just...."

"What run to the nearest house two hundred miles away with a sack of lead piping tied to your back? Lets be realistic here."

"It's been six hours now. It seems just as daft to put so much faith in that bloody kangaroo. I'm sure he's only just gone outside to have a shit."

The Rev. Jenner J. Hull said...

"So, let me get this straight. He keeps us tied up for an hour a day, but then we can do whatever we want. Watch TV, go roller-blading, get all the all ice cream we can eat..."

"Yeah. Nothing bad or weird at all. Honest."

"But, still, isn't it a little creepy? I mean, what if..."

"Whoa! Whoa! Ice cream, darling. All we can eat."